First of All

My favorite things this week:

• I came across and immediately purchased this print from Camizea, one of my favorite Instagram follows.

• I joined a new book club and we met outside in February!!!! This book club picks a theme/genre every month and then everyone puts titles from that genre into a jar in order to pick the next book, which I love. Our March book is For She is Wrath by Emily Varga.

• I stumbled across a new sushi place the other day and had the most absolutely delightful mango shrimp hot sauce roll situation and I’m still dreaming about it.

• During my weekly Thunder 45 class on my beloved Peloton Tread (ugh yes I’m part of that cult, I know) we were in the middle of a sprint section with a couple to go and he said “You feel that? That’s what hard work feels like.” and it just really struck me that he was right and it felt terrible and also amazing. I don’t often ever take time to acknowledge my hard work so it was a really cool moment.

• I found this in my camera roll from earlier this week and I have 0 idea under what context I saved it, but it made me giggle:

  

  30 Rock!

Sassa Wilkes (he/him) Shares a Personal Perspective on Trans Rights and Public Spaces

In this edition, I’m honored to share a deeply personal guest piece that offers a rare and candid look into the everyday realities of being trans in a world increasingly hostile to their existence.

I first encountered Sassa Wilkes, a Huntington, WV-based artist, when I attended the opening of his show 100 Badass Women at the Huntington Museum of Art in 2022 and have been a huge fan ever since. His art livens up the town I live in, existing in gorgeous, unapologetic color on walls, buildings, and even streets.

Sassa Wilkes courageously posted the following piece this week and opened up about a struggle that shouldn’t have to be debated: the right to simply exist in public spaces. With honesty, vulnerability, and an invitation to understanding, he breaks down the current, persistent fear-mongering around trans people in restrooms and how proposed laws threaten their safety and dignity.

If you’ve ever hesitated to speak up because you weren’t sure what to say—or even if you’ve never thought about this issue before—please start here.

Without further ado, Sassa:

“I want to share something personal in the hopes that it'll help people understand. It's not a thing I feel great talking about, especially now, but I've had enough interactions with well-meaning people to believe it might be worth it.

I know that most people don't understand or know really anything about trans people.

And that's fine. If you're not trans and no one you love is, maybe you just never had any reason to learn. But no one is immune to constant negative propaganda, so lots of people who don't actively hate trans people still have this vague idea that it's something bad, or scary, or just not something they want to speak up about out of fear of getting it wrong. At the very least l want to try to balance out the hate with real experience and information.

There are people working hard to make it basically illegal to exist as a trans person. One way of doing this (out of many they're using right now) is to criminalize going to public restrooms. I just want to tell you how this one example actually affects someone like me. I want to be clear that I'm not speaking for all trans people here-everyone is different, and all I can share is my own experience.

People who don't know me don't see a trans person when they look at me, they just see a guy. Hormone therapy has changed me to the point that I don't sound or look like a woman. Strangers call me sir. This started happening with total consistency about two years into my transition, at which point I started using men's restrooms, and I have since. This is not something I do to make a point, or out of some great desire to commune in a wash room with men. It's simply because I need to use the bathroom and I want to do that with as little hassle as possible, and get on with whatever I'm doing. I don't want to be harassed, or told I'm in the wrong room, or really even talked to by any strangers in the bathroom. Ironically, because there has been so much fear-mongering about "men in women's restrooms", chances are high that I would be subjected to violence if I used the women's room. This is a constant and valid fear of many trans women.

What am I supposed to do if it becomes illegal for me to use the men's room? Do it anyway for safety, and risk being arrested, which would DEFINITELY put me in an unsafe position? Use the women's room, and tell every stranger in the bathroom "I have to be in here, I'm trans"? Again, not safe in any way.

And why am I being put in the position to have to be worried about this? There is zero evidence that trans people are causing harm in public restrooms. Trans people are FAR more likely than others to be harmed in public restrooms.

Even if you didn't know any of this, lawmakers do. They know trans people aren't dangerous. They know trans kids aren't having surgeries. They know it's not actually necessary that your driver's license show the gender that was on your original birth certificate. They know that having a gender marker on your license that doesn't "match" you puts you at risk of harassment or harm. They know that trans women being moved into men's prisons are being put at risk of horrendous abuse. They know trans medical care has a higher satisfaction rate than literally any other type of medical care across the board. They know trans people are happier and healthier when they can be given care, and treated fairly.

They know all of this because they hear arguments from trans people all the time in response to the cruel bills they are spending our tax dollars proposing. They hear countless arguments from doctors citing decades of research that tells them these things are true. They also know that the majority of people don't know these things, which makes most people ripe to be misled and brainwashed with anti-trans propaganda.

If you're ignorant of trans issues, please don't let that stifle your voice. Please ask. Ask trans people you know how you can help, ask me. I'm always open to answering questions that come from a place of kindness.

We need people to speak up for us. We need people to call and let their representatives know what they're doing is wrong. We need people to speak up when they hear others spewing hate. Even sharing supportive messaging on social media is more valuable and appreciated than you know. We need you.”

You can find more of Sassa’s work on his website, and follow his public profile on Instagram.

Black History Month Books

I started a TBR (to be read) list of books by Black authors in 2020 and am still making my way through. Please send any recommendations you have to add to it! Here’s what I read from it this month, all of which I highly recommend!

What I’m Reading Now